I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
