Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Randomize
