Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
