just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
