pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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