You don't have asthma, your pregnant
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
