What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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