Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
pray to the hookup gods
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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