As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
