I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
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I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
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I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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