Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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