Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize