and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
