yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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