you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
