Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
