gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
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