How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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