STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
