apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
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Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize