I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
