i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
