Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
