god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
