he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
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There's always time for handjobs
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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