i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Randomize
