She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
