My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
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Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
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I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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