those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
All I want is dick and wine.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
