So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
