told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
