none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
