Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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