So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
