Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
