I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize