when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
