Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
