some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
