And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
The beer is more important than you right now.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
