Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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