i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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