that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
