i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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