they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
Too much gin, very little bucket
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
