i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
there was a trapeze. enough said
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize
