dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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