We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Randomize
