On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
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