sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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