somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
