I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize