well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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