I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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