i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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