Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
