Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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