I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
