Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
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