Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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