You really coming over, don't trick.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
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