Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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