Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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