You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
