yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
