im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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