This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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