she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
How external is "for external use only"?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
