that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
