We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
